April 1, 2011
Berlin Daily Sun
By April F. Gotcha
WEST MILAN -- According to TNZ, Charlie Sheen has purchased a summer home at 'See The Pond', in Milan.
The property was sold by RE/MAKE Properties
at a whopping $2 million dollar price tag. The exact site has not been
identified, but is located on the "See The Pond" loop road and needed to be
large enough to park his tour bus.
The famous actor has just landed a position as a mental health consultant as
well as a drug consultant at the nearby hospital. The hospital will be working
with Sheen, studying his brain in hopes of gaining insight into how his brain
operates. According to sources, Sheen has been quoted "I'm looking forward to
getting back to nature" and to bring much character to the area, since I'm such
a winner, DUH!"
The job will also supplement his income, since he was fired from the show "Three and Half Men". There are rumors circulating that he's been in contact with the county and has placed a bid to purchase the Coos County Farm's Holstein Herd. He believes that running a dairy farm will be the perfect scenario for his new reality show. "The Farmer and the Goddesses!"
Sheen plans on taking two or three of his goddesses with him. He is also open to meeting new goddesses here in the Great North Woods, stating "there's always room for one more" .
The influx of 'paparazzi' traffic to the area will take a toll on New Hampshire highways and the state is currently studying how they will find the money to fix the many potholes and frost heaves leading to 'See The Pond'.
Current residents of 'See the Pond' are anxiously awaiting Sheen's arrival and all the hoop-la that will accompany him. One resident was quoted as saying: "It will surely liven up this place" another resident looks forward to bumping into the goddesses at the Milan Luncheonette.
The serene quietness of
the northern NH pond will soon be the setting for the
colorful "Charlie Sheen and his godesses"